Francois Hollande under pressure after taking over a year to have affair

author avatar by 9 years ago

French president Francois Hollande has come under intense pressure in his native country after taking over a year to have an affair, leaving the reputation of Frenchmen everywhere in tatters.

With rumours now beginning to surface about an alleged affair with actress Julie Gayet, Hollande has finally begun to live up to the expectations of Frenchmen throughout the country.

Frenchman Marcel Williams told us, “I can’t believe it’s taken him so long to have an affair. To be honest, I’m disappointed.”

“I was beginning to think he was maybe a closet homosexual. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it would have explained his lack of interest in affairs with eligible women, and would have meant we Frenchmen could legitimately disown him as ‘one of us’.”

“But as it is he’s taken nearly two disappointing years to exploit his position of extreme power.  How he was not at it with a maid inside a week is simply beyond me.”

“I would like all nations to recognise that Francois Hollande does not represent true Frenchman everywhere, and should any of you women out there marry one of us we will probably try to get off with a bridesmaid at the wedding.”

Francois Hollande affair

Political experts have warned that Hollande may have left it too late to restore his tattered reputation.

As one explained, “This affair reeks of the desperation of a man fighting for his political future – looking simply for a way to endear himself to millions of male French voters.”

“He has to understand that we in France are different, we have certain standards and expectations.”

“When our leaders have affairs it is with actresses and former-models – but when you British leaders have affairs it’s with Edwina Currie.”