Tuesday 17 December 2013

Past life indiscretions could see Glenn Hoddle punished with Spurs job

Glenn Hoddle was such a shit in his previous lives that he is likely to be punished with the job of managing Tottenham Hotspur for a second time.

Hoddle, who was spurs manager from 2001 to 2003, is one of the favourites for the vacant position after his past life analysis showed he must have killed someone.

The past life analysis was conducted by someone who claims to be an ‘expert’ on this sort of thing, leaving many football fans bemused.

Football supporter Simon Williams told us, “Getting the spurs job once means you must have been a total shit in your previous lives, but getting it twice? It’s simply unheard of.”

“This sort of karmic retribution is normally reserved for murderers, rapists and politicians. I strongly suspect Hoddle has been all three.”

“I almost feel sorry for him. No matter how evil he was in his past life, taking a role under Daniel levy is just far too cruel.”

“The universe is clearly an unfair place.”

Hoddle for Spurs

Tottenham fans have reacted with surprise at the Hoddle link, asking if they too are being punished for misbehaviour in their own former lives.

Season ticket holder Mike Abrams told us, “I once had a dream I was on a ship fighting the Spanish Armada – and it felt very real, like I was remembering rather than dreaming. Is Hoddle’s potential reappointment my punishment for killing Spaniards?”

“I mean, there was a long time where I wanted Cesc Fabregas dead, but that went away when he left Arsenal.”

“I guess we’ll find out in the coming days if all this past life stuff really is bullshit, or not.”

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