Star of John Lewis Christmas advert caught shitting in woods

author avatar by 9 years ago

Retail chain John Lewis has been left reeling after the star of its Christmas advert was caught on camera defecating in a heavily wooded area.

The John Lewis bear was seen by campers carelessly discarding faeces in an area families often use for picnics, seemingly unaware of those watching and filming him.

Nature walker Simon Williams told us, “Honestly, he didn’t seem to care that we could easily see him – he just decided to squat there and take a shit. Brazen as you like without a care in the world.”

“I know he’s famous now, like Justin Bieber or Lady Gaga, but that’s just disgusting. People eat food in that area.”

“He didn’t look very happy either, but then neither would I if I’d been woken from hibernation by an annoying hare that didn’t understand animal physiology.”

John Lewis Christmas advert

However the up-market retailer has defended their star, saying the pressure of fame was likely to have impacted his normal behaviour.

A spokesperson told us, “Being in the public eye is very difficult. One minute you’re asleep in your cave, then next you’re being rudely awoken to star in a national advertising campaign.”

“He’s probably a bit sleepy, maybe even sleep-walking.  Bears aren’t supposed to be woken from hibernation for advertising purposes. Did you know that?”

They went on, “The important thing here is that we all embrace the John Lewis Christmas message.”

“Buying an alarm clock for an animal that could quite literally die if it doesn’t sleep through winter is perfectly acceptable as long as there’s a profit margin to be had.”

“Merry Christmas.”