Friday 8 November 2013

S&P cuts France’s credit rating from ‘arrogant’ to ‘smug’

Standard and Poor’s (S&P) has reacted to high unemployment in France by cutting their credit rating from ‘arrogant’ to ‘smug’.

S&P said the move was necessary, though French authorities have insisted their arrogance remains at sufficiently high levels.

The country’s Finance Minister, Pierre Moscovici, said S&P had made “critical and inexact judgements” and “had clearly not spent any time with an actual Frenchman recently”.

He went on, “Arrogance in France is at historically high levels, regardless of how misplaced S&P believe that arrogance to be.”

“We are still capable of looking down our noses at anyone in Europe and many around the world. Put a Spaniard in front of right now and I will show you what we can do.”

“To claim we are now merely ‘smug’ is an insult to all of France.”

“How dare you, do you know who we are?”

France credit rating

The move comes just months after Italy was downgraded to ‘Farcical’ and Germany was upgraded to ‘tedious’, representing a potential shift in European economic momentum.

S&P spokesperson Simon Williams explained, “After a thorough review of French progress since their last downgrading, we agreed that their arrogance is entirely misplaced, and they should best be described as ‘smugly unaware of the precarious nature of their situation’.”

“But that was a bit long for the classification, so we’ve simply classified as ‘smug’. Which is easier to type.”

“You want to know about the UK? Oh, well as long as George Osborne is in charge we’ll just classify the entire nation as ‘Moron’.”

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