Parliamentary poppy wars showing dangerous signs of escalation

author avatar by 11 years ago

The first shots of this year’s ‘poppy wars’ were fired this week as MPs battled it out between them over who supports the troops the most.

The dangerous levels of escalation were on show at Prime Ministers Questions where all MPs could be seen wearing a red poppy to show their support, while some wore two in the event of an attack on two fronts from both The Daily Mail and The Daily Express.

When questioned about the escalating poppy wars, MP Tim Stewart said “It would be very cynical of anyone to suggest that we as politicians are more concerned with our own personal reputations than the wider issue that is respect for our boys.”

“By the way, did you see my poppy pin? It may be smaller than some but it’s metal and cost a lot more than the paper ones that some of my right honourable cheapskates went for.”

“Make sure you get it in any photos.”

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Poppy wars escalate

However squaddie John Foster said he was overwhelmed by the support.

“You know, when you’re out there fighting for your country there is nothing more important than knowing that the politicians back home support us.”

“It makes having to go out and buy my own body armour so much more easy to deal with.”

In a statement, a spokesperson for The House of Commons said, “We are currently trying to negotiate a ceasefire between the parties involved however we expect this to be a long and slow process.”

“After all, it’s much easier for an MP to show support for the troops by spending £1 on a poppy pin than to stop sending them to fight wars with poor equipment and no exit strategy in place.”