Wednesday 6 November 2013

Al Qaeda celebrating victory over Richard Dawkins

Al Qaeda representatives across the world have joined the celebrations over their defeat of evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins.

Dawkins admitted defeat to the terrorist organisation after he was unable to take a pot of honey in his hand luggage  after it was confiscated by a security officer at the airport.

He told his Twitter followers, “It has been a long and deadly fight, but finally Al Qaeda have won. There is nothing we in the West can do in the face of such horrific honey confiscation.”

“They have struck at the very heart of us Western infidels, and left us a mere broken shadow of who we once were.”

“There is no smart bomb, no rendition, no drone strike that could possibly bring my honey back – we must now face the inevitable. We are lost.”

Dawkins Al Qaeda defeat

Terrorism experts have said the concession by Dawkins could be the first in a series of surprising victories for the terrorist organisation, who many had believed we operating very much on the back-foot until this point.

Domestic security analyst Simon William told us, “Al Qaeda are celebrating mainly because they haven’t had a lot to celebrate recently.”

“Taking responsibility for the loss of some honey might seem insignificant when you compare it to their stated aim of bringing the West to its knees – but you’ve got to take a win where you can.”

“It might even represent something of a sea-change.  For instance, when the residents of Tunbridge Wells discover that organic humus is running low in Waitrose, I am sure they too will admit defeat to Al Qaeda.”

“Dawkins could be the first of many such Al Qaeda victories, mark my words.”

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