The man stood in you local clothing store cheerfully greeting people as they arrive and leave is secretly dying on the inside, research reveals today.
With a perma-smile and pleasant demeanour, researchers claim he has done an admirable job in hiding the fact that his soul is secretly being consumed by the corporate entity paying him an hourly wage to stand there looking happy for arriving customers.
Shop worker Simon Williams explained, “There is no worse way to spend your day than being nice to the general public. Have you actually met any of them?
“Sure, frontline soldier might sound bad, but try having your foot run over by the two-hundredth teenage mum you’ve waved at that day. Give me the Taliban any day.
“The public are sullen, rude, and often completely oblivious to my attempts to make their visit a little more pleasant.
“From the moment I begin greeting in the morning, I pray for the moment I can finally go home and let out the misery that builds up during the day.
“I’ll tell you one thing, you should all be grateful the gun laws in this country are so strict.”