by A man bitten by a false widow spider has insisted the sudden onset of ‘super nausea’ will prove valuable in fighting crime in a lycra suit.
Simon Williams was bitten near the foot by the spider in a storage cupboard at a warehouse in Devon, before excitedly heading for the nearest mirror to witness his ‘transformation’ into super hero.
Williams told reporters, “I can feel the change happening inside me already. I feel quite sweaty, and the bite itself is swollen and red – a sure sign I’m becoming stronger.”
“But strangely I feel incredibly weak, like I might fall over at any moment. It’s really quite unpleasant, this becoming a superhero thing.”
“But with great responsibility comes great sickness. Or something.”
“To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how persistent nausea will help me fight crime, but I’ve read enough comics in my time to know that my skills will reveal themselves eventually.”
“Though it would be nice if I could get my shoe back on and maybe keep some food down for a bit.”
