Tuesday 22 October 2013

Facebook adds warnings to extremely tedious status updates

Facebook warnings

Facebook has begun adding warning messages to status updates on its site about food, photos of children and other content of an extremely tedious nature.

The alert states: “Warning! This status update is EXTREMELY tedious and could seriously waste your time.”

The move follows the social networks’ decision to allow users to post absolutely anything they want, including millions of posts containing the most mundane drivel ever conceived by mankind.

Facebook user Simon Williams said the update had already affected his news feed, telling us, “All I can see is a series of boxes with the warning ‘The update you are about to read is incredibly boring, and may cause distress when you realise you’ve wasted part of your life reading it’.”

“I’m not sure what Facebook is trying to tell me, I think perhaps that I need some new friends?”

“I suppose I should be grateful to anything which helps filter out the unrelenting stream of tedious shite served up by the people I have for some reason chosen as ‘friends’.”

Facebook warnings

Social media consultants have welcomed the update, insisting that anything which prevents you reading boring statuses is incredibly valuable, right up until the point that your own statuses are marked as boring.

Networking Consultant Shane Walden-Smythe told us, “It’s a welcome update, for sure. But There are some problems with the Facebook algorithm at the moment.”

“For some reason it mistakenly marked my update about the new sandwiches in the canteen as ‘tedious beyond belief’.”

“But I’m sure they’ll iron out the bugs soon enough.”

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