Man with leaf blower ‘just taking the piss now’

author avatar by 9 years ago

A man using one of those leaf blowers loudly in your vicinity is only doing it to wind you up, it has been confirmed.

The incessant racket started at 9am today and has been focussed on a small area of car park space directly underneath your office window according to experts.

IT worker Mandy Collins told us, “I observed a swarthy-looking man using his leaf blower to blow a total of ten leaves from one area of the car park to another whereupon the wind promptly blew them back again.”

Colleague Steve Wilson said, “I saw two ‘gardeners’ using their leaf blowers to engage in a mock sword fight. I think one of them may have scratched my Audi.”

Leaf-blowers in force

Part-time gardener and odd-job man Simon Williams later admitted that today’s work wasn’t really necessary and he’d only been doing it to ‘look busy’.

Williams said, “I like to wave it around and pretend it’s a big cock. Other times I use it to blast hedgehogs.”

Williams added, “The leaves are coming down so quickly now I’ll probably have to do it again on Friday.”

“Probably right when you’re ready to give your shitty presentation.”