NSA delighted by people voluntarily giving fingerprints to computers

author avatar by 11 years ago

The NSA has welcomed Apple adding fingerprint scanners to their devices, saying it will really add depth to their illegally obtained database of information about you.

The fingerprint scanner introduced by Apple will store your fingerprint on a secure chip inside the device, which as we speak NSA operatives and other covert intelligent services are attempting to hack.

An NSA insider told us, “There are literally hundreds of millions of people out there about whom we have no biometric data – this will change everything.”

“We already know who you call, email and transact with – but now we’ll be able to find you an entirely new way, too!”

“It would be useful if Samsung could develop a nice mobile friendly DNA scanner, that would really complete the set.”

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Fingerprint scanner on iPhone

Privacy campaigners have already insisted that people voluntarily giving their fingerprints to an Internet connected device to save typing in four numbers deserve to have the biometric data held by any government that wants it.

As one told us, “Seriously, we want to campaign for the privacy of the individual – but if you can’t see why this is a bad idea, then you’re beyond our help.”

“But if you don’t see an issue with it, why not just cut out the middle-man and volunteer your fingerprints to the local police?”

“It’s £700 cheaper.”

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