Women to add ‘testicle measurement’ to first date check list

author avatar by 9 years ago

First date conversations could soon include questions about your career, family and testicle size, men were told this morning.

After new research revealed a link between testicle size and a man’s ability to commit to raising a family, bollock diameter suddenly became more important than the car you drive.

Single woman Lucy Williams told us, “What’s the point of dating a man with a nice shiny car if he’s going to be off chasing the next bit of skirt due to his oversized swingers?”

“Am I suddenly better off dating a man with a pair of dried plums in his pants?”

“I mean, I find nappies absolutely disgusting, so it would be useful to have a man who could do that for me.  Should I look for a man with no testicles at all?”

Testicle size research

Men have welcomed with the news, insisting that a good feel of their dangly bits could make early dates much more interesting.

29 year old Shane Matthews told us, “As a modern single man I normally have to sit through four or five dates worth of inane conversation for that sort of treatment.”

“And normally once they learn I still live with my parents and work in a cinema any genital contact tends to be taken off the table.”

“But I think from now on I will lead with my distinctly average-sized gonads.”

“I’ve already updated my Match.com profile.”