Prince Andrew addicted to crime

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Being man-handled by police has left Prince Andrew desperately seeking his next encounter with the boys in blue, according to reports this morning.

The Prince was stopped and questioned by police in the grounds of Buckingham Palace over the weekend, despite not being black or wearing a hoody.

Palace insiders said the Prince described the incident in the gardens of Buckingham Palace as ‘absolutely thrilling’ and ‘something I’d like to do more of’.

As one palace official explained, “He’s been out shoplifting this morning, and spent the last 20 minutes putting racist graffiti up near Marble Arch. His Dad gave him the idea.”

“He keeps shouting at policeman ‘Come and take me! TAKE ME!’ – but to be honest most of the police are just completely bemused by him.”

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“If someone doesn’t tackle him soon we’re worried he’ll kill a prostitute or something.”

Prince Andrew himself refused to comment officially, before grabbing a reporters wallet and shouting, “I FEEL SO ALIVE!”