David Moyes celebrates finding Sir Alex Ferguson’s legendary ‘Book of Moans’

author avatar by 11 years ago

The legendary ‘Book of Moans’ belonging to former Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, has been found by David Moyes according to reports from Old Trafford.

The book, which many claim has mystical powers of persuasion over referees and footballing authorities, is said to include thousands of moans, which if verbalised correctly can see favour fall upon your team.

Moyes celebrated the find by using a moan from Chapter One called, “I don’t like the fixture list”.

Club insiders say that Moyes was quite nervous invoking a Ferguson moan, but that his delivery was solid and the initial results look promising.

One long-time Old Trafford employee explained, “They way he implied that the fixture computer could itself be ‘fixed’ was almost Fergie-esque in its sheer arrogance.”

“As a result I’m sure the authorities are looking for ways to make life easier for Manchester United as we speak.”

David Moyes moaning

Fans have welcomed the finding of the book, with some believing it was lost forever after Ferguson’s departure.

Season ticket holder Simon Williams told us, “We’ve always been a club that could moan with the best in the world, but with ‘plucky’ David Moyes’ track record at Everton we thought those days were behind us.”

“Thankfully he’s blown the dust right off the Book of Moans and jumped straight in.”

“It very much looks like he’s set to carry on our great moaning tradition.”