Friday 19 July 2013

Shale gas tax breaks to help hard-up energy companies finally make a few quid

The tax breaks given to energy firms looking to exploit the UK’s shale gas reserves could finally see the struggling conglomerates make a few quid, according to reports.

The notoriously destitute organisations have welcomed the tax break, which might see them make some sort of profit in a way they definitely wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.

A spokesperson for the energy industry said, “Everyone one of our member organisations loses money hand over fist in every single energy endeavour they take part in. We’re essentially altruistic energy charities.”

“But for once it looks like this generous tax break from the government might result in us actually breaking even. Maybe.”

“Who knows, one or two of us might even get a bonus – which would be nice seeing as that never, ever happens to people who run energy companies.”

Shale gas tax break

Business analysts have said that it’s about time the government focussed on giving tax-payer money to organisations that really need it.

Simon Williams of consulting firm Matheson Smythe & Co explained, “Every pound given to these plucky energy companies in the form of tax breaks is another pound that can’t be wasted by underperforming hospitals.”

“In the current economic climate we have to focus our scarce financial resources on the most deserving cases.”

“And I’m sure we’d all agree that energy executives fall squarely into that bracket.”

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