Monday 1 July 2013 by Spacey

MPs being forced into luxury

The number of MPs who are forced to have more money to buy nice things is expected to rise following recommendations from the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority.

The PSA feels it is important that MPs are forced to take more money, by moving the basic salary of a backbench MP from £66,396 to a sum closer to £75,000.

With more and more MPs not even struggling a little bit to make ends meet, concerns have been raised that an increasing number will have no choice but to live very comfortably.

“We can’t stop more money being given to us,” lamented one MP.

“It’s not fair that everyone else is having their pay frozen or cut but we’re in line for a huge increase that we haven’t even asked for.

“I mean, we’re hardly destitute as it is, and it’s now reaching a point where I may be forced to start buying things that I don’t even need.”

MP pay rises

MPs have warned that further increases to their wealth will leave them with some difficult decisions to make.

“I’ve had a good look around and there are a number of different types of investments and tax schemes out there,” explained another MP.

“The tough bit is which of my many financial advisers do I listen to? These are the tough decisions your average constituent doesn’t see.”

“Honestly, it is terribly difficult for a modern MP.”

Self-proclaimed man of the people, UKIP leader Nigel Farage has expressed his disbelief at the amount of money MPs receive.

“Is that it,” he blasted.

“I get more than that as an MEP, and I do fuck all!”

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