Monday 3 June 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Rafa Benitez appointed interim Doctor Who

The BBC has confirmed former Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has been appointed as interim Doctor Who, following Matt Smith’s decision to leave the show.

The Spaniard, who recently took over the managerial reins at Italian side Napoli, is reportedly eager to demonstrate to the British public that his acting abilities are far more entertaining than his football tactics.

Benitez’s agent, Manuel García Quilón, cited the role as an ideal opportunity for his client to spread his wings in front of a new audience that will learn to hate him as quickly as others have in the past.

“Rafa is clearly looking forward to once again boring the pants of millions of people on a Saturday night, only this time, it won’t be on Match of the Day,” he told reporters.

“He will immediately set about stripping the Tardis of all its admirable traits, such as time travel and sonic screwdrivers, and restore it to its former glory as a telephone box which only accepts shillings.”

Benitez as Doctor Who

Fans of Dr Who have began to throng outside the BBC’s HQ to air their disgust at the appointment, calling for the return of previous incumbent, Chris Eccleston.

A spokesman for the BBC, Trevor Tramp, said the corporation was aware of the fans dismay, but hoped the prefix ‘interim’ would quell fan fears.

“We hope people knowing that as soon as this guy has met his brief he will be out the door with no thanks whatsoever.”

“Then it really will be a case of ‘Dr Who?”

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