Windows 8 to reintroduce annoying paperclip ‘helper’

author avatar by 10 years ago

Microsoft has announced that the release of Windows 8.1 will see the return of the useful paper clip helper which took centre stage in so many previous versions.

Critics of Windows 8 said the new metro interface made it difficult to complete what had previously been simple tasks, an issue which Microsoft say has been addressed by the return of ‘Clippy’.

A Microsoft spokesperson explained, “Clippy will look at what you’re doing on screen, and also listen to the expletives you’re uttering, before recommending a course of action.”

“For example, simply saying ‘how do I turn this useless pile of shit off?!’ would prompt Clippy to show you the hidden ‘off’ button that we’ve made ridiculously difficult to find.”

“He will also ask you if you’re trying to write a letter whenever you open a non-Microsoft browser. That’s just a bit of fun we decided to have.”

Windows 8.1

Technology analysts have said that the reintroduction of Clippy is exactly what was needed, when the alternative was just to make a simpler interface for their operating system.

Analyst Simon Williams told us, “When the option for a company like Microsoft is to add an annoying helper to an overly-complicated interface, or to just make the interface simpler, then there really is no choice at all.”