Can you make the parachute payment out to ‘cash’, asks Redknapp

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Following QPR’s relegation, manager Harry Redknapp has begun looking for the clubs ‘parachute’ payment, having apparently misinterpreted the terms of his contract.

Redknapp, who has a reputation for saving clubs in the midst of relegation battles, is said to have engaged in a late-night roam of Loftus Park’s executive suite for the famed payment after yesterday’s draw sealed the clubs fate.

“I came to QPR bristling with hope and ambition, particularly given the financial assurances I understood to be in place to protect me should the worst happen,” he told reporters at a press conference.

“Anyone thinking I came here to pick £80k a week to watch that go down the tube whilst the club picks up £40-50 million over the next four-seasons all because my managerial skills come up short, has more loose screws than Holloway prison.”

“They can bungee it to me for all I care.”

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Redknapp’s parachute payment

When quizzed on the apparent disappearance of his Houdini like management qualities, the former West Ham manager was certain his performance demonstrated they remained fully intact and available for hire.

“The thing is, this relegation should only serve to reinforce the myth.”

“Afterall, my Harry Houdini act went out and did the ultimate Harry Houdini act by vanishing.”

“What more can you ask?”