Wednesday 24 April 2013 by Formelia Alberthine

Let Chelsea’s Ivanovic bite Liverpool’s Suarez, insist Saudi FA

The Saudi Arabian Football Federation have suggested it might be best for all concerned if Chelsea centre-back Branislav Ivanovic sank his teeth into the forearm of the Liverpool forward Luis Suarez.

After Luis Suarez denied his bite on Invanovic warranted anything more than a three-game ban, the Saudi authorities insisted they have the perfect way of dealing with such incidents.

The federation’s President, Ahmad Al Harbi, was aghast at the mealy-mouthed way the controversial incident had been handled by their English counterparts, believing eye for an eye vengeance to be an amicable solution to the affair.

“When we mete out justice in Saudi Arabian law with a decapitation, our stadiums are packed to the rafters with ticket payers catching a slice of the action,” he told reporters.

“Why not the same for football?”

Suarez punishment

Al Harbi was quick to insist he wasn’t suggesting a death sentence for the Liverpool forward, at least not until he has dived a few more times in order to win penalties.

He went on, “Now, we’re not saying chop off Suarez’s head – yet – but we are saying a vengeful munch on his forearm from the Chelsea player could prove to be quite an attractive pull to most football fans.”

“Certainly the British seem to have an appetite for hardline justice, particularly in relation to Mr Suarez.”

Al Harbi continued by signalling the Federations willingness to facilitate the punishment, but was cautious about his country’s chances of hosting the event.

“We’d like to host it, but we’re not sure we’ve bribed the right FIFA officials.”

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