Liverpool to consider having Luis Suarez put down

author avatar by 10 years ago

Liverpool face the unpleasant prospect of having their star striker Luis Suarez put to sleep, according to experts.

Brendan Rogers faces the difficult decision to continue with his Uruguayan pedigree after a biting incident left Chelsea’s Ivanovic only identifiable by Suarez’s dental records.

Suarez was lucky not to be sent off after receiving a yellow card in the first half for sniffing John Terry’s arsehole during a free kick.

“Having reviewed the video footage and spoken to Luis, his behaviour is unacceptable and he won’t be allowed out for walks,” said Reds manager Brendan Rodgers.

“He loves chasing the ball but I’d like to see him do more than just sit there with it in his mouth awaiting further instruction.”

“That’s something I’d hoped to work on in training.”

Suarez to be put down

Meanwhile, the FA would also like to speak to Suarez regarding an incident in the tunnel when the striker startled match officials by lying on the floor and licking his own genitals.

Rodgers added, “Sniffing John Terry’s arsehole is bad enough, but this together with the incident where he urinated against the corner flag at Carrow Road leaves me with very few options.”

“I’ve had him since he was a pup so it’s going to be very hard to have him destroyed.”

“Some of the younger players like Raheem Sterling and Daniel Sturridge have become very attached to him so I’ll probably just tell them he’s gone to visit his parents in Uruguay on an open return.”

Rodgers concluded, “I’d like to offer my apologies to Ivanovic who I understand was left foaming at the mouth at the incident.”

“He’ll probably want to get that checked out.”