Thursday 14 March 2013

Argentina asserts rights over Vatican City

If the Falkland Islands belong to the UK because of the people who live there, the Vatican must now be part of Argentina, according to President Cristina Kirchner.

As the first Argentinian Pope began his day at the leader of the Catholic church, Argentinian officials asked if anyone has looked under St Peters basilica for oil reserves.

Argentinian president Kirchner told reporters, “We have a recent precedent with the Malvinas and the ‘Brits’ who live there, and so I fully expect to see the Vatican handed over to Argentinian authorities within the week.”

“Don’t worry, we have no intention of asset stripping our new land – but I’m sure there’s a few bits and pieces we could sell off for a few million Pesos.”

“Pope Francis I is a proud Argentinian so I am sure he’ll have no problem cutting us a few thousand sets of keys.”

Argentina claims Vatican City

Residents of the Vatican have said the claim has no basis in fact, and that unless Argentina can prove sovereignty, they’ll simply ignore the claimed.

However President Kirchner responded, “Look, if the people at the Vatican are going to start basing their opinions on factual evidence then that whole organisation is headed down a very slippery slope.”

“If you take fanciful claims with no evidentiary support away from the Catholic Church, then the Vatican could be a Wal-Mart by Christmas.”

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