Facebook ‘Likes’ predict lack of personality

author avatar by 10 years ago

How tedious you are in real life can be gleaned from the things you ‘Like’ on Facebook, according to a new study.

Researchers at Cambridge University used complex algorithms to predict how awful your company would be if we happened to actually know you.

The research, published in the journal PNAS, forms surprisingly accurate personal portraits of the most god-awfully dreary people across society, researchers said.

The study used 58,000 volunteers who provided their Likes on Facebook, before being subjected to a short five-minute conversation with a normal human being.

Lead researcher David Stillwell told us, “It became clear very early on that if you’re the sort of person who ‘Likes’ photos of children asking for Likes in order to secure a kidney, then you are a borderline simpleton.”

“If you ‘Liked’ any photo which thanked God for something that is easily explained as coincidence then you were probably a bit preachy.”

“And frankly anyone who Liked something to do with Justin Bieber would struggle to get through the 5 minute interview without making the other person want to smother them with a pillow.”

Facebook Likes predict personality

Stillwell went on to describe how the new algorithm could provide a useful tool to society moving forward.

He said, “We have built a clear picture of how to assess someone’s tediousness coefficient, a tool we are confident will prove valuable to people everywhere.”

“Want to know if the girl you made friends with in the bar on Friday is worth the hassle? Run the algorithm, and we’ll tell you within a few minutes if you’ll be chewing your arm off to escape her inside a week.”