Vatican criticises Cardinal for focussing abuse on ‘unpredictable’ adults

author avatar by 10 years ago

Following allegations that Britain’s most senior Roman Catholic behaved ‘inappropriately’ towards four priests in the 1980’s, the Vatican has criticised the accused for focussing his abuse solely on grown adults.

Cardinal Keith O’Brien, who strongly contests the allegations, was lambasted by Vatican officials for a fatal error in his chosen modus operandi, which has now left him and the Catholic Church open to recrimination.

A spokesman for the Holy See said, “The approach taken by Cardinal O’Brien flies wholly in the face of his indoctrination.”

“We take a lot of time to outline the reasons for targeting the weak and vulnerable in society – children – for sexual gratification.”

“It is clear that children are far more receptive to threats and violence, you just never know what an adult is going to do – that’s why we recommend leaving them well alone.”

“This is not the Catholic way – adult victims are likely to keep notes and make reports, as he’s now finding out to his cost.”

“Let us be clear, the Catholic church in no way condones the sexualisation of adults.”

Cardinal O’Brien accused

Occasional Catholic, Sheila Mount, said the only pleasing thing about this latest scandal was the fact that for once some priests found themselves at the sharp end of their religion.

“We’ve all heard of keeping it in-house, but this takes the biscuit.”

“Though it does make a refreshing change to hear a Catholic priest saying that ‘yes, in this case the abuse definitely did happen’.”

“I guess being a victim offers a whole new level of insight on the matter, eh?”