Friday 22 February 2013 by Yikes

Pryce jury agree on lunch at McDonald’s but stumped by Happy Meal puzzles

Members of the jury hearing the Vicki Pryce perverting the course of justice case have hit back at suggestions that they were indecisive, saying that throughout the trial they unanimously agreed to have lunch at McDonald’s.

Experienced juror Brian Green, a jobseeker from Catford, said that it wasn’t just the choice of restaurant they agreed on.

“It was uncanny but we all agreed to ‘super-size’ our meals – we definitely did want fries and fizzy, thank you very much.”

“Though to be fair, the fact that the Justice system was paying might also have been a factor.”

Newspaper stories saying that questions asked by the jury showed they were a bit thick were well wide of the mark, said Jason Smith, an apprentice tiler from East Ham.

“OK, we asked for directions but it wasn’t immediately obvious where the McDonald’s was. The Judge just said ‘turn left at the Barclays and you can’t miss it’.”

“But the directions were too vague, we weren’t sure whether the Judge meant ‘left’, ‘sharp left’ or even ‘right’. The Judge should have led us by the hand and shown us exactly where the McDonald’s was.”

Pryce Jury took task seriously

Candie Wright, a part-time sex worker from Bethnal Green, emphasised that the jurors took their task very seriously, and worked on their mental agility by attempting to solve the Happy Meal puzzles at McDonald’s.

“The maze was not as easy as it looked – especially navigating through all the special sauce I spilt on it.”

“And the crossword was equally tricky – ‘world famous clown’ (6, 8) seemed obvious but when I filled in ‘David Cameron’ it didn’t quite fit.”

But Ms Wright said all that brainwork was for nothing as the Judge aborted the trial just as they had agreed to a verdict.

“We were gutted. We had pored over the evidence. Listened carefully to the arguments from both sides. And we were just about to go with a majority verdict, 10-2, for a Big Mac over a McChicken.”

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