Iain Duncan-Smith calls for shop worker ‘stacker-laureate’ qualification

author avatar by 11 years ago

After criticising benefit claimants ‘who think they’re too good’ to stack supermarket shelves on back-to-work government schemes, Iain Duncan-Smith has called for a new European style ‘stacker-laureate’, to demonstrate just how important the role really is.

The work and pensions secretary aired his dismay at tertiary educated people airing their dismay at being forced into work in menial jobs unsuited to their skillset, urging the ministry for education to act on his behalf and boost the profile of the role.

“All these supposedly well educated people, disappointed that their years of studying has amounted to little more than etching an arse shaped crevice in their armchairs, need to take a long hard look at themselves,” he told reporters at a function for business leaders.

“What better way of securing a return to employment, than returning to employment for large corporations, for free, performing the uppermost function in society?”

“I will be speaking with the Education Secretary in the near future, to ensure a 3-year ‘stacker-laureate’ is added to the syllabus across the country.”

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Unemployed graduate, Laura Spencer, said the move to create a qualification for shelf-stacking was an interesting concept.

“Can I get a new round of student loans and live in a big city for three years whilst I study for it?”

“It sounds like I’ll be ready for at least one job when I leave this time, which is more than can be said for my degree in Art History.”