Arsenal to convert trophy cabinet into corporate box

author avatar by 10 years ago

Following his side’s FA Cup exit at home to Championship side Blackburn, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger admitted the club may make better use of its trophy cabinet by converting it into a state-of-the-art match-day corporate box.

The French procurer of young talent said the club’s board believes the move could generate a significant increase in revenue, sufficient to free up enough funds to invest in a smaller cabinet that is several years away from reaching its prime.

“The new cabinet would not be expected to make an immediate contribution to the club above and beyond containing the trophies we have accumulated pre-2005,” Wenger told reporters at the post-match press conference.

“In fact, we think it far more prudent to base our future storage strategy around what we already have.”

He went on, “We hope the swiftness of this purchase will appease fans who continue to criticise our lack of meaningful activity in the transfer market.”

“Who knows, we may even go out and buy some of those rubbish fake paper tattoos, that would really shut them up.”

Arsenal out of FA Cup

Wenger reassured a finite subset of Arsenal fans hopeful of seeing some silverware in the next decade, provided they happened to have married 15-years ago.

“Yes, to those fans, for sure.”

“Its called a 25-year silver wedding anniversary.”

“Or train a magpie to steal some, the bird obviously, not the Geordie variety.”

“They have been waiting even longer than us.”