Friday 15 February 2013

UN convenes ‘stern letter writing’ task force to address North Korea

As news emerged that North Korea is upgrading its rocket launch site in the wake of a successful nuclear bomb test, the UN has convened a Stern Letter Writing Task Force to address the issue.

Admitting something must be done, UN officials got out a pad and paper and opened their thesaurus at the word ‘disappointed’.

“We have the power of the UN and an incredible arsenal of big words with which to threaten sanctions against North Korea if they don’t stop acting like dicks.”

“We will explain to the North Korean government that we are not only disappointed, but also upset, dissatisfied and aghast at their latest moves.”

“Our member states are angry, affronted, maddened and somewhat furious.”

“Don’t make us look up the word ‘sanctions’.”

UN sanction on North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea have spoken of their intention to form a Stern Letter Reading Task Force, in which senior military officials will read the UN’s letters before being photographed looking at them sternly.

A spokesperson for the DPRK told reporters, “Sternly reading letters is an important facet of our great nation, and we shall do so with pride – regardless of what the decadent western dogs write.”

“We would issue an official reply to the letters, but unfortunately Kim Jung-Un just wants to know if he can eat them.”

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