Liverpool’s Row Z public liability insurance slashed as Carragher announces retirement

author avatar by 10 years ago

Liverpool’s public liability insurance for Anfield fans sat in rows above ‘W’ will drop significantly next season, after Jamie Carragher announced his retirement.

Club owner John Henry hopes the reduction in insurance costs could free up funds for manager Brendan Rodger’s rebuilding programme, whilst insuring a more relaxing match-day experience for fans in Anfield’s cheapest seats.

Henry told the club website, “Jamie has been a magnificent servant to the club for many years, sometimes single-handedly displaying a rear-guard action that has had our fans ducking left right and centre to avoid his exquisite ‘passes’.”

“I’m sure most of our loyal fans will have a smile on their faces as they recount the similarity between being sat watching a Liverpool XI containing Jamie, and the kind of evasive manoeuvres required to avoid an absolute pasting at paint balling.”

“We wish Jamie all the best for the future, and we congratulate our fans up in the god’s on the extension of their life expectancy.”

Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher retiring

Insurance experts have said Carragher’s retirement could free up significant funds for team rebuilding.

Broker Simon Williams explained, “We could be talking hundreds of thousands here. It’s a bit like taking your grandmother off your car insurance – suddenly everything looks less risky to the insurance company.”

“They’re less likely to have to pay for a dead pedestrian, and they charge you less accordingly.”

Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers was quick to second the clubs owner, and pay his tributes to Carragher.

“Our supporters won’t be shy in telling you that Carragher redefined the club’s pass and move philosophy.”

“When Carra passes, the supporters move – out of the way and as quickly as possible.”