Monday 4 February 2013

Chris Huhne to cultivate new bad-boy persona as ‘C-Dog’

Chris Huhne bad boy

Former cabinet minister Chris Huhne changed his plea to guilty of perverting the course of justice, telling reporters today that he’s a ‘bad boy loner from the wrong side of the tracks’.

Huhne, who has admitted asking his former wife to take speeding points in his behalf, is said to be cultivating the person ‘C-Dog’ in expectation of punitive prison time.

Huhne told reporters gather outside the court, “Chris Huhne is dead, and C-Dog is here to take names and kick arses and stuff. And maybe offer some management consultancy if that’s also an option.”

“C-Dog is from the slums of West London and was a gang leader at Westminster school – ‘West side forever’, and err, ting.”

“The Lib Dems are a brutal gang, and I’m a key player in it. For now. You’ve probably heard of us and our powerful alliances.”

“Don’t mess with C-Dog.”

Chris Huhne

Huhne’s new beard and armful of tattoos have shocked some, but are seen as a necessity in embracing his new identity.

A friend of Huhne’s explained, “He knows he’s got to go for the Alpha male when he gets inside, which at one of the open prisons is likely to be some guy called Clive who got caught for insider trading.”

“If it escalates and gets personal them some pretty savage insults could be thrown around in there.”

“The guards seem to let it go on, as long as it doesn’t cross over into defamation.”

“I think C-Dog is ready.”

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