Wednesday 30 January 2013

Iran drags space program into 1960s

Rogue state Iran has taken a giant leap forward with its space program, capturing the imagination of its civilians by doing something most countries were doing in the 1960s.

After sending a monkey into space, Iranian officials said it is likely to be just another “40 or 50 years” before they have a space station.

The monkey will be embarking on a national tour of the country, where he will be hailed as a hero of Iranian ideals.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke on national television of the success, “Putting a monkey into space will strike fear into the hearts of our enemies, especially next time when we will probably give the monkey a gun.”

“This is a great day for the glorious theocracy that is Iran. In just 20 years we will have the home computer, and the Internet just fifteen years after that. Truly we are great.”

Iran space programme

Dogs have spoken out after the flight, insisting they are unhappy with being overlooked for a role in the Iranian space race.

“We were good enough for the Russians, so what does Iran have against the canine race?”

“It’s because some of us have shown homosexual tendencies and our innate fascination with arses, isn’t it?”

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