National lottery players set to become twice as stupid

author avatar by 11 years ago

After it was announced last week that the cost of a lottery ticket will increase by 100% in the Autumn, players of the state-franchised pipe dream are set to become twice as stupid as they already are.

After carrying out research about the game, Camelot UK managing director Andy Duncan said: “Our players still love Lotto but after 18 years they say they want more from it.

“That’s why we’ve decided to take more from them and reduce the payout on some of the top prizes.

“With an opportunity to spend twice as much as before but get half the amount if you get five numbers and the bonus ball, you’d have to be completely sensible to miss out.”

Lottery price increase

More than 1,000 players left messages about the price increase on the National Lottery Facebook page with many describing the increase to £2 as “About £1 more than before”.

Lottery player Stephen Burden said: “Well done Camelot!”

“Now I’ll only have to buy one ticket instead of two, thus saving me time and maximising my chances of spending more money.”

David Morris added: “In these times of austerity it’s great that Camelot have given me the chance to imagine what I’d do if I won less money than I would have done before.

“We all need to tighten our belts even when we’re daydreaming about things that are incredibly unlikely to happen.

“Some people might think It’s a waste of money, but you’ve got to be in it to have a 14 million to one chance to win it.

“Hang on a minute….”