Lance Armstrong to use appearance on Oprah Winfrey show to deny appearance on Oprah Winfrey show

author avatar by 11 years ago

Saddle frequenting drug-taker, Lance Armstrong, is this morning preparing to deny his appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show during his reported appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, according to reports.

The former US Postal/Discovery team cyclist, who won a record seven Tour De France titles before they were stripped from him for taking performance enhancers, is said to be ready to deny denying a life as a two-wheeled drugs mule during his appearance denial.

A source close to the powder repository said Armstrong was eager to set the record straight.

“Lance is hopeful that the opportunity to deny practically everything levelled at him in the comfortable environs of the Oprah Winfrey Show will give his fans the opportunity to reassess his alleged failings.”

“Particular that of suggestions he was appearing on the Oprah Winfrey Show.”

“Clearly that claim will be proven to be as unfounded as those claiming he is a man of integrity.”

“To be fair, there will be so many denials, he will need performance enhancers just to get through them all.”

Lance Armstrong on Oprah Winfrey

The spokesperson admitted there were similarities in the level of charity work conducted by Armstrong for the Lance Armstrong Foundation, and Jimmy Savile’s fund-raising.

“Show me a tireless charity worker, and I’ll show you someone with more skeletons in his closet than a corrupt archeologist.”