Americans’ level of insanity judged by how tolerable they make Piers Morgan look

author avatar by 11 years ago

After shouty-faced tin foil wallpaper enthusiast Alex Jones appeared on Piers Morgan’s US chat show to defend his right to own guns that he doesn’t need, it emerged that the more reasonable someone makes Piers Morgan look, the more insane they are.

In the discussion Jones unleashed a ferocious rant in which he accused Morgan of using facts and being British, before insisting that gun control measures have led to the UK becoming a non-stop fireball of bloody violence.

Swatting away an imaginary army of CIA agents who had transformed themselves into tiny pterodactyls, Jones, shouted: “True, we have a higher gun violence level, but you have hordes of people beating old women’s brains out.”

“You have knives because you took all the guns away.”

“The only way to stop people stabbing each other is to give them guns.”

“You can’t stab someone with a gun, and believe me I’ve tried.”

Alex Jones on Piers Morgan

Supporters of Jones have defended his outburst and claimed that Morgan is nothing more than a facilitator of government mind rape.

“If you look at what Alex actually said then I don’t think you can dispute the factual content,” insisted one of his followers.

“I didn’t see Morgan denying that there are metal sharks in the sea, did you?”

“He also dodged answering how many chimpanzees can dance on the head of a pin.”

“People really need to wake up to the threat that pin-dancing chimpanzees pose before it’s too late.”

Jones responded to the viral success of the interview by claiming that New York mayor Michael Bloomberg has hired the mafia to get him.

“If I’m killed by a crack team of pin-dancing chimpanzee crackheads riding metal sharks, it was the NYPD or mafia they hired ” he said

“How can anyone argue against my right to own a gun when I’m faced with that?”