Supermassive black hole in danger of being consumed by Simon Cowell’s ego

author avatar by 10 years ago

The second largest, most dense cosmic entity ever seen in our Universe is in danger of being consumed by Simon Cowell’s ego, experts predicted today.

At just 17 billion times the mass of our Sun, the supermassive black hole is dwarfed by the ego of the man who created X Factor.

Astronomers claim recent observations show the black hole being slowly absorbed by a construct of Simon Cowell’s psyche.

As one explained, “Once you’re caught in its gravitational pull, there’s very little you can do to escape; whether you’re a B-List celebrity, pop star wannabe, or a celestial entity so powerful even light cannot escape.”

“We’ve seen many things consumed by Cowell’s ego, but this will be the first time we’ve seen it completely dominate something so big.”

“From previous experience, the black hole will either bend to the ego’s will, or disappear from the entertainment scene forever.”

Supermassive black hole

Experts have predicted that claims that the entire universe revolves around Cowell’s ego, could yet be proven true.

“It sounded rather fanciful when it was first posited as a theory by Cowell himself – but the more time goes on, the more it looks to be the case.”

“You might not realise it, but Cowell’s ego is having a direct influence on you right now – but like the sun, you should never stare at it directly.”

“The last person who tried to ignore its influence was Steve Brookstein, and look what happened to him.”