Thursday 22 November 2012 by Qoxiiv

Palestinians bombarded with unsolicited accident compensation texts

Thousands of Palestinians are having the misery of living under perpetual subjugation further compounded by incessant texts offering compensation for any accident they had or exploded home they’re under.

The texts, whilst initially appearing to offer a no-win no-fee ray of hope for many inside the besieged territory, simply direct respondents to various American and Israeli premium-rate lines.

“It’s just a scam!” says Rashid Nasser, whose home was destroyed for being within 60 yards of a sandwich shop occasionally frequented by men that an Israeli spy-plane suspected might know a Palestinian journalist.

“I’m never calling those things again. I was hoping for some help but I just got redirected to a grainy recorded message of some men laughing.”

“It was the second text I’d received in as many minutes. The first one said ‘You and your family are entitled to be murdered for that region you live in’.”

“I replied with ‘STOP’ but I can only assume they didn’t get it as moments later my house was destroyed.”

“Now, that one text and phone call have bankrupted me. And I’ve been told that the Israelis will be coming to repossess my rubble tomorrow.”

Compensation claims

Despite being a blatant contravention of international law, President of the Palestinian Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, has said they are powerless to do anything about the texts.

“Put it this way, we don’t generally have much luck in the courts. Besides, we’ve been inundated with these too.”

“I’ve had seven texts in the last few days telling me I could claim for being mis-sold Palestinian Persecution Insurance; or the Universal Declaration of Human Rights as I think it’s more widely known.”

“Alas,” he continued, “that too just redirects me to an expensive foreign number for another organization that’s of no use whatsoever… called The UN, or something.”

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