Thursday 22 November 2012 By Formelia Alberthine

Benitez set for first Chelsea squad alienation session

Chelsea’s newly appointed interim manager, Rafa Benitez, is set to take his first full session of alienating the clubs entire playing squad.

The Spaniard is widely reported to have accepted the short term appointment only after having ran out of members of his social circle to drive wedges between.

Benitez intended to reveal exactly who he wants playing out of position in his starting XI for this weekends clash against league leaders, Manchester City.

His agent, Manuel Garcia Quilon, confirmed that the former Inter Milan manager retained his ability to make a player as responsive to his methods as a coma patient is to an X Factor repeat.

Quilon told reporters, “Having completely sapped the enthusiasm from each and every player at the San Siro, in just a matter of weeks, he has no doubt he can be just as effective in west London.”

“The process begins as soon as he dons one of those dodgy tracksuits he favours most, and ends with him forcing a player to train with the tea lady at the merest hint of a creative incursion into opposition territory.”

“In Italy turned a champion’s League winning squad into what you could best describe as ‘also rans’.  The good news is that at Chelsea that process is already well underway.”

Bentiez takes training

Chelsea fan, Terrence Flack, admitted his concern at the appointment made by club owner Roman Abramovich.

“The only obvious reason I can see for bringing in Benitez is that Roman wants to bring down the wage bill by encouraging players to leave.”

“I suppose this is cleaner than putting John Terry in charge of giving his star players’ wives private tours of the city.”

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