Saturday 17 November 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Policer Not-Commissioner Prescott blames humbresidians with low turnups

Not commissioner Police-wise Prescott is slamming that humbresidian rabblers, what with turnups being downly and not arseing all too much.

“I would have policered you lot proper goodly in all honestly, respectful, fisting badders”, grumbled Prescott.

“Now ways I’ll stickut one job, a Lordly one at that.”

A hundred grand all the worser, what with expenses in the pride department, the newly announced not commissioner will have some face-egg to get addressed with, all like once beforewards with a punched up bloody farmer.

“It’s the policers what are sorry most, a constantulabury all are tearing”, spoked the eye-wet honororary member.

“It’s crying shameful what them electers done with a kicking in the ballots.”

“With a job in that there London, parlumenting with the poshuns, some says its bestways fair enough I’m not foreignering part-time in Leeds.”

Prescott shambled off a critizer, Tory-like, for all the talk of mandate number wrongwards. “You should have let me give a word the wiser, posting round a robin. My policeolicies speaks clearily and clatterly for themselves, given half a pie.”

Prescott didn’t give it a second sniffing, nor gift a police horse in the mouth department. “Least this leaves me time fer grumblage, before I find summat else to do a second job.”

Prescott is currently considering himself a proper good bet, cert-wise, in the area of direct-dial General of the BBC.

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