Friday 16 November 2012

Angelina Jolie announces plans to adopt orphan planet

Actress and serial adoptress Angelina Jolie has announced plans to add planet CFBDSIR2149-0403 to her brood, insisting that seeing the planet all alone makes her incredibly sad.

The orphan planet was picked up by the Canada France Hawaii Telescope on Hawaii’s Mauna Kea, and is said to have no home solar system, or a parent star.

A spokesperson for Astronomy and Astrophysics, who published the find, explained that the calls from Jolie’s ‘people’ are becoming a distraction.

They told us, “She hears the word orphan and immediately starts picking out colour schemes for their new bedroom.”

“We’ve tried to explain that the planet at least four times larger than Jupiter and approximately 400 degrees celcius on its surface, but she just wants to reassure us that she’ll ensure it retains close links with its ethnic roots.”

“She then went on about all the wonderful references she could provide us, before asking in hushed tones if we’d spoken to any of Madonna’s people.”

“I think it might be easier just to let her have it, you know?”

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