Drinking during pregnancy increases likelihood of giving birth to X Factor fan

author avatar by 12 years ago

Drinking one or two glasses of wine a week during pregnancy is likely to impact a child’s IQ so severely it might grow up to become an X Factor fan, a new study suggests.

Researchers from Oxford and Bristol universities looked at the IQ scores of 4,000 children, as well as recording the alcohol intake of their mothers, before finding that those with the lowest IQ scores were far more likely to be seen sat in front of the television on a Saturday night.

Lead researcher, Bruce Melton, hoped the findings would act as a warning to expectant mothers hoping to raise a child with remotely admirable qualities.

“Some till argue that drinking during pregnancy is an essential stress reliever for expectant mothers, but it clearly leads to the horror of a fully fledged, mentally challenged, X Factor fan.” he told an assembled audience.

“If someone told you one glass of that Bordeaux each evening was going to guarantee you a teenager with a reading age of 9, but who could spot Louis Walsh across a crowded room, we’re pretty sure that would be enough to make women stop and think.”

Drinking during pregnancy

X Factor assistant producer, Simon Williams, was shocked at the news but stopped short of encouraging women to take a 9-month period of abstinence.

He told us, “What with the increasing competition from Strictly Come Dancing, we need all the help we can get.”

“I wonder if a mother doubled her intake, could it lead to the birth of someone willing to watch Xtra Factor on ITV2?”