End of world could ‘spare men Christmas shopping ordeal’

author avatar by 12 years ago

Men, who traditionally start their Christmas shopping around the 22nd December, are pinning their hopes on the Mayan’s prediction that the world will end on the 21st.

With men viewing the annihilation of the universe as preferrable to spending time any time whatsoever in Argos, it is hoped that the Earth colliding with another planet will go some way to easing their suffering.

“When it comes to choosing between Armageddon and Argos, I’m rooting for the Mayans,” said 29 year-old Alex Mason.

“The end of the world would normally be a pretty difficult time, but on this occasion I think the Mayans have got the timing spot on.”

Mayan prediction

The Mayans predicted the end of the world using astronomical alignments and numerological formulae, but men have spent previous years using a lack of thought and imagination to predict a frosty reception from their wives on Christmas morning.

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“Dealing with the aftermath of buying the wife the wrong thing is far worse than the violent destruction of Earth,” continued Mason.

“The pain and anguish just isn’t comparable, which is something I found out last year when I bought her the Complete RoboCop box set.”

Figures from previous years suggest that 80% of men leave their Christmas shopping until the very last-minute, but Mr Mason insists that this is a sensible approach.

“All those people who’ve done their shopping by October are going to look pretty stupid.”

“If the world explodes in a huge fireball on December 21st causing the end of humankind then I’ll be the one laughing,” he concluded.