Friday 9 November 2012

Government to host illegal immigrant amnesty interviews in France

The government has announced that illegal immigrants will be granted amnesty to stay in the UK as long as they attend a brief interview on the other side of the channel tunnel.

The move is expected to see an expected a hundred thousand illegal immigrants head outside our border in order to get permission to stay within our border.

Immigration officials said, “It’s a very simple interview, we’ll ask you a couple of basic questions to ensure you are in fact and illegal immigrant, and then you can be on your way back into the UK.”

“Yes, that’s definitely how this is all going to play out.”

“If you know any illegal immigrants, I would strongly suggest you tell them to get in line.”

Illegal immigrant amnesty

The government was also questioned about the large number of channel tunnel one-way tickets it had recently purchased.

A Whitehall spokesperson said, “Oh, it’s cheaper to buy them that way – a quirk of the website booking system, definitely.”

“This was the most cost-effective way of ticking off all our illegal immigrants for this amnesty – French venues are so much cheaper to hire than those in London.”

“Our advice is simple, if you’re an illegal immigrant then get in touch for your channel tunnel ticket, and don’t forget to bring your lack of documentation.”

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