Tuesday 6 November 2012 by Waylandsmithy

Fury as Newsnight claims Thatcher government ‘abused miners’

BBC’s Newsnight is at the centre of a fresh row, after suggesting that senior members of Thatcher’s government had been complicit in the habitual abuse of miners.

Since the show aired more than 20,000 complaints have been received by Police, from victims who now feel brave enough to talk about their experiences.

“It was a different culture back then”, complained an unnamed senior party treasurer.

“It was completely OK to both admire and simultaneously despise physical labourers. That’s why our party was so keen to shaft them.”

The internet is full of rumours that a shadowy underground network once existed, set up to penetrate the coveted seams below Wales, Yorkshire and Nottingham.

Social media sites have leaked the names of certain ministers complicit with shutting down these networks and getting the miners out into the open, where they were forced to stack shelves in Tesco.

“This goes all the way to the very top of government”, insisted one ex-miner, a former whistle-blower and experienced canary carrier. ”

I’ve even heard of links going back to Ted Heath, although to be fair, in that case it was us that screwed him.”

Conservative abuse allegations

David Cameron has promised a full and frank enquiry into how so many miners were exploited, right under the feet of the unions who were supposed to protect them.

The Prime Minister travelled to Orgreave where it’s claimed that some of the worst abuse happened, and marked the event by unveiling a symbolic white windmill.

“With the right sort of enquiry, I’m sure we’ll find that none of this need ever happen again”, explained Cameron.

“The thought of opening these things back up makes me sick to the stomach.”

Fortunately for the PM, alternative sources have come to light in Blackpool, which could help draw a line under the issue.

“There’s no suggestion that any current members of my cabinet want to leave themselves exposed to miners”, he claimed.

“We’d much rather get into bed with a bunch of dirty frackers.”

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