Tuesday 6 November 2012

America reminded one presidential candidate believes he has magic underpants

People around the world have taken a moment this morning to remind US citizens before voting that one of their presidential candidates believes he’s wearing magic underpants.

Mormon Mitt Romney has a realistic chance of becoming the most powerful man on the planet, whilst also being confident in the fact his underpants give him powers.

English person Simon Williams told us, “I used to wear magic underpants, but outside my trousers when I pretended to be Superman – but then I left primary school and grew out of it.”

“Part of me is kind of jealous of Mitt Romney. I wonder if he gets his Dad to pick him up and whizz him around the room as if he can fly? I used to love that bit.”

“It’s a shame a Mormon’s magic underpants are white, I think they’d look really good in red with the initials ‘MR’ on the front.”

US elections

Mormon folk-lore contains stories of magic underwear deflecting bullets, preventing burns in fires, and even saving people from car crashes – all important factors to consider when you’re making policy that affects the entire planet.

As one European explained, “When Mitt Romney is sitting there with his finger on the button, I want him rationally evaluating the evidence put before him, not wondering what his underpants are trying to say.”

“On the bright side, I guess if he wins we’ll finally get to see those passenger planes with the windows that open.”

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