Friday 2 November 2012

Trick or treaters who were given Cocaine failing to shut up about it

A number of children handed packets of cocaine as part of the their trick or treating are still yabbering on about how brilliant their evening was.

The cocaine handout took place in Oldham, where police are describing the incident as ‘overtly generous’.

Though the ‘treat’ was supposedly an accident, the children concerned say that it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

12-year-old Jamie Williams told us, “It’s amazing, you know? Halloween is just incredible, and I think I just want to keep trick or treating all night as I don’t feel even slightly tired, you know? I’m just buzzing right now and honestly this is best Halloween ever.”

“Is my nose bleeding? It feels like it might be bleeding? Is it?”

“I think I might need some more powdered candy. Have you got any? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Trick or Treat Cocaine

Adults in the Oldham area have reacted with shock at the news of the cocaine treat, insisting that they had believed all trick or treat give aways were rubbish.

Regular drug user Justin Matthews told us, “If dressing up as Dracula is all you need to get off your tits, then I’m all for it.”

“Do you know if they’ve got any uppers? I haven’t had a septum since 1997, so pills are my thing now.”

“How about a couple of tabs of ecstasy or I’ll throw an egg at your window, is that how it works?”

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