Firework manufacturers urged to make everything more dangerous

author avatar by 12 years ago

After an increase in popularity for Halloween, manufacturers of fireworks have been urged to make them more dangerous in a bid to relcaim Guy Fawkes rightful position as the number one festival of fear.

Changes in legislation and organisation of bonfire nights over the last 20 years has meant a vast reduction in the number of deaths and injuries in Britain, and this has significantly diluted its appeal.

Gary Notlob, from the action group Pyromaniacs4Good, remembers the days when Bonfire Night was real theatre.

“Average attendance to firework displays were huge when there was a real risk of being maimed. I fear we’re being overtaken by Halloween as the preferred festival of terror.”

“There’s nothing more entertaining than watching a chav who is throwing batteries into a bonfire get set alight by an errant spark. There is no fancy dress outfit that can top it.”

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Bonfire night

Some ideas that have emerged have been to fill Catherine Wheel tubes with napalm so that attendees really get a feel that they might get their face burnt off.

Pyromaniacs4Good, in association with the Fireworks Council of Great Britain, are advertising shellsuits under the brand Remember Remember, in a bid to return to the heady days of the 80s when synthetic clothing used to ignite at high temperatures.

We spoke to one disillusioned firestarter outside the Houses of Parliament, “You can still get mugged and have your house egged at Halloween, but Bonfire Night no longer seems to offer this kind of peril. It’s such a shame.”

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