After lengthy consultation the BBC has finally agreed to label its DJs using a system of ‘traffic lights’.
Now listeners can choose how to feel about a DJ, simply by looking at the colour of 5 key criteria.
“The consumer has a right to know all the facts before they make up their mind about a DJ”, suggested Director General George Entwistle.
“So we’ve rated them for ‘musicality’, ‘self-obsession’, ‘deadness’, ‘nonce?’ and ‘fat’.”
Most consumers of radio already know that they should avoid liking certain DJs, but others may come as a surprise.
“We all now know that Jimmy Savile has red in his nonce box,” explained Entwistle.
“But many won’t be aware that John Peel is a borderline yellow.”
BBC DJ ratings
Critics of the plan think the ratings are confusing, particularly ‘deadness’ which can show green for some living DJs, as well as the deceased.
“It’s a tricky area because it depends so much on the other ratings”, Entwistle said.
“If a likeable self-deprecating DJ is still alive, then that’s a green for sure. But a dead sexual predator is much safer than a live one.”
Other anomalies have seen Terry Wogan and Steve Wright get a yellow for ‘fat’ and a red for ‘musicality’, whereas Chris Moyles was awarded a green for both.
“Performing on Radio 2 is an automatic ‘music red’, but we’re sure most of the audience already knew that”, suggested Entwistle.
“But you need a little more information before you can understand a green ‘fat’ label for Moyles; we’ve narrowed all the doors in Radio 1, so he can’t get back in.”
Entwistle confirmed that all DJs have so far tested red for ‘self-obsession’, something to be avoided by listeners with high blood pressure.
He had this advice, “If you’re worried about your DJs, send a text message to our service on Radio 5. It can be very soothing, to call Richard Bacon a c**t.”