Apple to release four foot iPad

author avatar by 11 years ago

Apple is set to surprise the market yet again by releasing an upgraded iPad that is taller than the average child.

Many experts had speculated a new, smaller iPad was to be unveiled by CEO Tim Cook on later this week, but the company has now confirmed it is taking its iconic product in a completely different direction.

Cook told reporters, “Apple has always been about doing things differently, and what could be more different than a tablet so big you can’t physically lift it?”

“Using it is the sort of full body workout currently unavailable on any Android, Nokia or BlackBerry device.”

“The good news is that at four-foot tall we’ve finally managed to find space to include a memory card slot.”

New Apple iPad

The move has surprised technology analysts, but has not prevented them predicting the new device will sell in the millions.

Tech reviewer Simon Williams explained, “Apple recently tested the water on unusable products with the release of IOS 6, and now we’re seeing that they’re ready to really take a massive leap forward in technology no-one can use.”

“It seems like they really want to go back to the days when hardly anyone knew someone with an Apple device.”

“Which is going to be difficult as they’ll shift millions of units no matter how bad the product actually is.”

Tim Cook had the final word, telling reporters, “Yes, we know some leaked photos made it look like we were going to release an iPad mini, but those shots were just taken from a really long way away.”