Decomposing sex predator Jimmy Savile was allowed to perform routine operations on sick children after someone reminded the hospital he was famous, red-faced NHS chiefs admitted today.
Savile was allowed access to operating theatres and medical text books after winning the trust of senior staff owing to his ability to run a mediocre marathon time in a highly-flammable shell suit.
The TV presenter-cum-nonce’s first operation came about after he noticed a child had fallen in on one of his routine ward rounds at 3am.
Former matron Simone Williams said, “Sir Jimmy had been carrying out a routine examination of a child’s lower abdomen, under the bed sheets, when he noticed her bowel had become swollen.”
“He immediately recognised the culprit as a C difficile infection and recommended we rush the patient down to theatre.”
“Due to NHS cutbacks no surgeons were available and so it was left to Jimmy step in despite a total lack of background medical knowledge.”
“He told the child ‘Don’t worry my dear, Uncle Jim is going to fix it for you to have your lower intestine removed.’ And then he did his famous yodel.”
Savile in hospital revelations
Medical staff looked on bewildered as Savile scrubbed his arms with carbolic soap, donned a clean tracksuit and removed some of his trademark jewellery.
Williams continued, “I thought it was a bit strange but decided not to say anything – as he’s quite famous you know.”
“During one part of the operation he called for more oxygen which I thought was a bad idea because he was smoking a very expensive Cuban cigar.”
“It was perched on the instrument tray, along with the forceps and cutting saw and we took it in turns to pass it to him.”
“After the girl came round, Sir Jimmy turned to us and said ‘How’s about that then!’”
Despite making a partial recovery the girl later died of internal bleeding. “It was a baptism of fire”, admitted Williams.
Health chiefs later admitted that during his time at Stoke Mandeville, Savile performed up to five hundred operations ranging from ingrown toenails to complex bypass surgery and is likely to have killed more patients than MRSA.
However, Williams strenuously denied claims that nurses told children to ‘pretend to be asleep’ during Savile’s visits.
“This rumour is completely false”, Williams claimed.
“They were actually anaesthetized – it was part of Jimmy’s rider.”