Tuesday 18 September 2012

Old people failing to recognise they are old

After a survey of old people showed they believe middle-age begins at 55, there are concerns the mental health of the elderly may be significantly worse than previously thought.

The survey of 1,000 UK adults aged 50-plus for the Love to Learn online learning website showed that they clearly have no idea what age they actually are.

“I’m still in my early thirties,” claimed 52 year-old Lionel Williams.

“I won’t be middle-aged for many years yet, and my pension adviser tells me it’s looking like I’ll need to work for another thirty years – so I can’t be more than thirty five?”

middle-age at 55

In response to the survey, many nursing homes have begun leaving dictionaries open at the entry for ‘middle’.

38 year-old Mike McAlpine told us, “Instead of helping them across the road, how about we help them read their birth certificate?”

“The only way you’re middle-aged at 55 is if you’re planning to live into your one-hundred and teens.”

“Which is nice as far as plans go, but in terms of feasibility it’s right up there with my plan for a Minogue sisters threesome.”

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